Nearly 500 Sydneysiders Allowed To Travel Interstate During Harsh Lockdown Because Hubby Run Good With Ball

Just about 500 wives, girlfriends and children of star handegg players have been given ‘special permission’ to leave NSW in the middle of what is probably its most restrictive lockdown yet because their husband/boyfriend/meal ticket can run good with ball…

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NSW Bookies Really Driving the Nail Home

Thanks to the recent and extended lockdown in NSW, bookies across the state are enjoying unusually high interest from punters who have literally nothing to do except throw money around…

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NSW Premier Likely Replaced With A Clone

The NSW Premier has today made a public health decision that is in the interests of the citizens of her state instead of the people putting money in her pockets…

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NSW Chief Health Officer Just About Fucking Had It

Speaking briefly after this morning’s ‘COVID conference’, NSW’s Chief Health Officer has revealed she has just about fucking had it with these ignorant fucks thinking lockdowns and Public Health Orders don’t apply to them. “It’s not that fucking hard. Stay at home. Just don’t go out. Do not leave the house unless you absolutely have…

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NSW Premier To Consider Proposal From Toll Road Consortium To Install Toll Gates On Residential Driveways

eipNews can reveal today that NSW Premier Gladys Berejiklian is considering a proposal from NSW toll road operators to install bi-directional toll gates on every residential driveway in the state…

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Australian PM Embraces New Nickname, Completely Unaware of Actual Meaning

Our Prime Minister has today taken his new popular nickname SloMo by the horns and run with it, apparently completely oblivious to the context or meaning behind it…

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Nationally Acclaimed Handegg Expert Shocked And Dismayed When Rules Apply (Somewhat) Equally To Him

Now-disgraced professional Australian handegg player Paul Vaughan was reportedly “shocked and dismayed” when he suffered actual, tangible consequences for his actions instead of his conduct being swept under the rug and dismissed as ‘boys being boys’…

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Holy Fuck, Sports

World May Be Burning, But At Least We Have Sportsball | Everyone’s excitement about the EURO 2020 Championship reached fever pitch a few days ago when England claimed a narrow victory over Denmark 2-1 to progress…

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